Experiencing Vystopia in the Real World

Hello everyone, I hope that you all had a wonderful weekend and are ready for a fabulous week!

I had an incredible weekend at Farm Animal Refuge in San Diego.  It was their bi-annual open house and I spent all day Saturday with farm animals, my vegan family, and ate delicious food.  It was pure Heaven!  I came home after a 9am-5pm day and felt like I was on a vegan high.  I was encouraged after being surrounded by people who completely got me and who felt the same way that I do.  Every person I talked to was a true, animal lover who is dedicating their lives to advocate for ALL animals, and I truly felt like the world was changing.  I completely felt at peace (and btw, had the best night of sleep that I have experienced in months)!!!

Today has been completely different: it's as if I have woken up from a great dream into a nightmare that won't end and is surrounding me.  I am suffering from what Clare Mann refers to as "Vystopia."  By definition Vystopia is the “existential crisis experienced by vegans, arising out of an awareness of the trance-like collusion with a dystopian world. It is an awareness of the greed, ubiquitous animal exploitation, and speciesism in a modern dystopia”.

Let me take you through my morning.  It started by driving to work, passing the beautiful cows down the street who are being raised to be slaughtered for beef.  Along the way, I pass a dairy truck, filled with milk from cows who have impregnated and have had their babies stolen (and killed!) from them. I pass a Jack in the Box, McDonalds, and Burger King, filled with lines of people who are waiting to eat animals.  Not to mention the constant ads on the radio filled with propaganda from the animal agriculture industries!  Within the 20 minutes that I am in the car, I have become very aware that I am the minority.  One of the few who thinks that animals should live and deserve better!

I always try to remain positive and to stay optimistic.  But today I am feeling sadness, grief and hopelessness.  I am feeling guilty for judging the non vegans that surround me and for worrying about their health and for also selfishly worrying about our planet.  I am tired of worrying about offending people when there are BILLIONS of animals being killed EVERY year for their taste buds!  (And why is it that we have to celebrate birthdays and holidays with a corpse on our plates?! More to come on that one later.....).

In ways I get it.  We have been conditioned to believe that we need to eat animals and I used to do it too.  We all run around with our busy lives and do what we have been told to do, not considering the actions that we are taking.  What I don't get is how when you know the truth, when you have seen the footage, how you can ever put that piece of animal in your mouth again.

Sorry for the rant but I think it's important that you know that every day as a vegan activist is not sunshine.  There are days where you feel like the world is out to get you (think about a belief that you have that you are the most passionate about.  Now imagine a whole world telling you that belief is wrong!).

And I know that tomorrow will be better and that I will get out of bed ready to fight for what it right.  But today, I want to step back into my dream of the weekend with peace, amazing friends and animals who have been saved from this terrible nightmare.

Please let me know if you can relate to this post.  I would love to hear from you!

From Lyme Disease to Animal Activist

On October 29, 2015, I got one of the worst calls that I have ever received.  It was from my doctor and he said that my "Lyme disease diagnosis was positive".  He went on to explain that although I had "acute Lyme", I would most likely have ongoing symptoms for the rest of my life.

At this period of my life, I was in horrible pain. I had extreme fatigue, severe muscle cramping (imagine teaching fitness classes when you can barely feel your legs!), tingling in my extremities, brain fog, depression and crippling digestive issues.  I would lay in bed every night and cry.  I had no idea why this was happening to me and couldn't imagine spending the rest of my life in this immense pain.  I was incredibly scared, frustrated and felt completely alone.

Luckily, in this day of age there is the Internet.  I was able to find a Lyme community and friends who helped me through the misery and also found solace in those who had recovered.  There was hope!  Fortunately, three years later I am mostly symptom free and am extremely grateful for my recovery.

So, how did someone with a debilitating illness go from being stuck in bed to becoming an animal activist???

The answer is so simple:  when you have experienced suffering, pain, fear and loneliness, you do not wish that on any other sentient being!  You can watch a graphic video of an animal at a slaughterhouse and completely empathize with them and the feeling of not wanting to lose your life.  I can feel it in my bones and can feel the fire in my heart, trying to come up with strategies to make it stop!  You see, animals know exactly what is going to happen to them.  Most are sick, starving and have been tortured up until their death.  They are scared and cannot make it stop...and they cannot turn to the Internet like I did to get support.

Today, I am a Lyme warrior and an animal rights activist.  I spend my weekends volunteering for our local chapter of Anonymous for the Voiceless (that I am a proud organizer of).  I spend time at local sanctuaries and try to educate the public daily about the horrors of the animal agriculture industry.

And today, I am grateful for my Lyme disease diagnosis.  Who knows?  If I hadn't suffered the way I did, would I still have the desire to fight for the animals?  I will never know but I truly think that everything happens for a reason.  Maybe my reason for Lyme was to find my true passion in life as an animal activist.

 For more information about my Lyme disease journey, please click here.