Health

My Loss and Tips on Dealing with Grief

Hello friends,

I hope that everyone had a wonderful holiday season and I wish you all a happy and healthy 2017!

I normally try to stay extremely upbeat and positive with my posts, and I promise that I will be back to those soon.  However, before I can move into this year I wanted to share this post with you.  Please forgive me 🙂

For me, as well as for many others, 2016 was a year filled with sadness and heartbreak.  There were many close to my heart who suffered great losses and I too lost a dear, loved one. I experienced my first real grips with death when losing my dog, Jake.  I know that some may be thinking, “come on, it’s just a dog!” But for me, Jake was my best friend.  He was in my life for over ten years and was honestly my child (since I haven’t been blessed with a human one yet).  We did absolutely everything together and no person will ever love me with the unconditional love that Jake did.  Plus, this was my first true experience with death and watching someone have their last moment on this planet.  It’s a tragedy that will take me a long time to get over.

I could go on and on about my Jakey but that is not why I am writing this.  I am here to give you my tips on how I am dealing with grief.  I share this with you for two reasons: 1) I know that so many people are suffering from grief right now.  If I can help you with even one of my tips, my job here is done. 2)  It’s cathartic.

Here are the tips that are helping me deal with grief:

  1.  Go Outside.  There is something about being outside that reminds me that the world is so much bigger than me.  It reminds me that there is good in the world, regardless of how sad I am in the moment.  Put your feet in the sand, look at the trees and flowers, breathe in the fresh air.  Staying inside and dwelling on our sadness never helps.
  2. Move Your Body.  For me the thought of doing a difficult workout during a period of grief is unbearable.  However, it is crucial to get out of your own mind and to move your body.  Increase those endorphins with some Yoga or go for a walk.
  3. Eat Healthy Food.  I know what you’re thinking, “all I want is comfort food when I am sad!”  I did too…pizza, soup, french fries!!  But did you know that some foods can actually make us more depressed?  Try to get in some veggies and healthy meals.  Also, try to throw in some grounding foods like sweet potatoes or beets.
  4. Talk to a Friend.  If you are lucky enough to have a good friend who will listen, talk to them about your feelings, experiences and memories.  Do not bottle it up.
  5. Take Care of Yourself.  Remember that grief can actually have a negative impact on our health.  We saw this through the passing of Debbie Reynolds after her daughter, Carrie Fisher, died.  Self care is crucial during this period.  Take baths, increase your vitamins, get extra sleep, journal, meditate, etc.
  6. Remember that You are Human.  This tip is the most important of all!  There are days where I forget that death is a part of being a human being.  I try to be strong and hide my feelings but it is crucial to allow ourselves to feel the way that we are feeling.  If you are sad, it’s okay…more than okay….to cry.  It’s okay to be angry, tired, confused, depressed, selfish.  Feel the way that you need to feel to get through this.

 

I hope that some of these tips can help you through your healing.  If you are suffering the loss of a loved one, please comment below and share your story.  We can get through it together 🙂

I hope that this can be a wonderful year for everyone and I will be back with some happiness and joy soon 🙂

One comment

  1. Thanks, April. We are very blessed to already be in our 30s when experiencing true loss. I can’t imagine enduring it at a younger age. I am so grateful for my 39 years with my mom, and I know you are so grateful for your decade with Jake. Everyone says they are in a better place, which is true, but it means that we are without them here on Earth every day for the rest of our time here. That’s the hard part. But your tips are right on. For me, #6 is really the most important. Unless we remember that “feelings aren’t right or wrong”, as my dad always says, and make sure we truly allow ourselves to feel what we feel, we can’t honestly take advantage of the other tips. I am so grateful for your tips and for all the love that has come pouring in from friends and family. It has been a hard time for many of us. But I truly believe joy is a gift. It’s ok to be sad and in mourning yet still receive and share joy.

    Like

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